Lazy Post

It's been a while. I realised earlier today that I've missed my blog. (I'm sorry I've neglected you soo much baby!) However, I also realise that with not working and having all this spare time, there is no push to write! :-D Basically now that I don’t have anything that I need to distract myself from, I'm losing my blog motivation.

Ok that and I am in a weird place. I have had soo many ideas floating in my head, soo many poems and posts just waiting to be written, that I don’t even know where/how to start.

I found this piece as I was clearing up. It's something I was commissioned to write for a friend's book. It's supposed to come from one of the characters. This was a first draft to see if I was capturing the mood right. She's not going to use it so I don’t feel bad about putting it up. It's whimsical so strikes a good note. I promise to write more within the next few days.

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You know I don't do Poetry so think of this as a message.

I thought of writing something amusing but romantic like: -

"I love the scent of your hair on my pillow
So I will never wash it till you come back home"

But I couldn't think of much else beyond that. Instead I figure I will just write straight from the heart.

First of all - I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I wasn't supportive
I'm sorry I wasn't overjoyed for you
I'm sorry I tried to hold you back
I'm sorry I made this difficult for you.

Secondly, I understand
This is a big opportunity for you
You will experience new things
Meet new people
Learn about different things

Thirdly - I'm scared
I'm scared that you will change.
Not that change is bad, but that your love for me will also change
I'm scared I wont change, and you will look at me differently
I'm scared you will meet someone else or find something else that pulls you away from me
I'm scared of losing you.

However - it's ok.
I want you to know that whatever happens, we will be ok.
More than anything, we are friends.
I hope that you will return and come back to me
If somehow it doesn't happen that way, that's fine
Just know that I will always be here and I will always love you.

I will also be counting down the days till I see you again.
I love you.