Saying Thank you

Saying Thank you

There is a lot to be said for having manners. There is also a lot to be said for having tact and saying things in the right context.

LJ and I had dated for a while but had split for about 3 to 4mths. It was an amicable split so we were still “friends” and would talk from time to time. I bumped into him one weekend and we hung out. We spent the day chilling at his and then went back to mine so I could change and go on to a party. I hadn’t been with anyone since the split and he probably hadn’t had sex for a couple of weeks. It was hot, we were horny, we decided to do it. “For old times sake”. The combination of both parties been up for it, the spontaneity, the hot weather, or whatever else it was, made for explosive sex. Probably the best I’d ever had with him. We fall back and I’m still catching my breath when he goes – “Wow … Noni, thank you. I really needed that!”

Thank you? THANK YOU?? THANK YOU???? What do I look like, a fucking hooker? What, I did you a favour? Provided some kinda service? What? I was too flabbergasted to do anything other than lie there with an incredulous look on my face. I felt the need to say something to indicate how completely out of place it was and finally, I managed to stutter – “ don’t thank me! … That is just soo weird … I mean … “, which sparked off a lengthy debate (ending in me resolving NEVER to sleep with him again).

Piece of advice for any man reading this – never, I repeat, NEVER thank a woman for sleeping with you unless you’re paying her for it.

I felt soo used and it just cheapened the whole act. He didn’t get it as he felt that he was expressing his gratitude and being appreciative. I don’t know if that’s because he’s an insensitive, thick bastard, or if it is a generic stupid way of thinking all men share. I am (was) assuming that men are now knowledgeable enough to realise that women have evolved to the stage where they have sex because they like it and they want to. If a guy needs to thank anyone for having sex, he should thank the lord that he was lucky to be in her radar when she was up for it.

Thanking a woman for sex is especially galling when it’s coming from someone she’s slept with (on numerous occasions) already. My mind started whirling with all these thoughts and questions! So what so all the other times weren’t good enough to merit thanks? Just how desperate was he? Was I basically the first mugu to come along who was willing to sleep with him? What the hell was he thinking???

I apologise for my ranting, I just watched Men in Trees – which everyone should be watching or downloading as it’s really good btw – and something like this happened in the show, which brought it all flooding back.