Good News/Bad News

When given the option, I always prefer to hear good news first. That way I get to enjoy it for a little while, before the bad news taints my outlook. I am however feeling a mishmash of emotions today. Actually, I’m feeling melancholy … so I’ll just put things up as I see fit.

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Friday Song

I was listening to my ipod and I came across this song which I love, so it’s my Friday song. Raheem DeVaughn – You. The words are just soo simple and perfect. Exactly what I need tonight.

You Video - Raheem DeVaughn lyrics

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I am still angry. I’ve been angry for a while. I’m worried that it will grow out of my control and I may end up hurting someone in the resulting blow out. The anger is like a tumour. A nasty, violent, virulent tumour. I cut out the abnormal cells causing it but the edges are still raw. It’s mostly gone but still needs some Chemo and Radiotherapy to eradicate it entirely. My friends (well-meaning as they are) insist on rubbing the edges. It’s making the anger flare up again. I feel a poem brewing. I’ll see if I can get it out.

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Family

It’s the first of December. Christmas is coming! It’s not confirmed yet but it looks like I may actually be going to Nigeria! I may well be getting that hug I was promised ;-)

Christmas/Nigeria made me think of family. I think family is ultimately what you make of it. I love my family – the people I classify as family, and I love them unconditionally. I would always go out of my way for them and would do my utmost to protect them from any danger regardless of whether they want me to or not (also regardless of how over-protective, irritating and obnoxious it makes me). Sometimes I think being an only child makes me overcompensate with my cousins so I’m extra everything with them - generous, caring, frustrating and demanding. Lolll – yes they love me really! :-D

The family I was born into however is very different. I have half siblings and a step brother (Richard). His father was the psycho that was married to my mother. Unfortunately Richard’s stuck with him. I know of two of my half siblings. I’ve seen one of them from a distance. We have mutual friends. First time I went back to Nigeria, I met a guy who was good friends with one of them and he gave me her number. I called her and we spoke. I wanted to get to know her, so we arranged to meet. Unfortunately it couldn’t happen and long story short I lost her number. I just read an article about her and apparently we share a few creative traits. It is weird thinking I may have got that from my father’s side of the family. I’ve always thought creativity was a result of your environment. Much as I may not want to admit it (even to myself), I have his genes. Maybe that is where I got my horrible, cold side from.

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Wedding fever

In the last two days I’ve heard of two engagements. One is a younger cousin and the other an old friend. It started off as a trickle –the girls who were over eager to get “life” started. Now it’s a steady flow. I've accepted that I'm never going to be one of those girls who goes gaga over weddings and I’m thankful I don’t feel any sort of pressure to get married RIGHT THIS INSTANT, or my life is over! However, it is still a little unsettling, realising my friends and now guys I've been involved with are getting married. I always knew and joked with my family that my younger cousin would be the first to get married, but now it’s actually happening. It’s here. Damn I’m getting old – lolll.

Have a lovely weekend people.